Friday, August 11, 2017

Apparently God Hates Me

Apparently God hates me! This is the only thing I hear when you tell me I can't get pregnant because "It's God's Will'. Those three little words, It's God's Will, turns into these three big words, GOD HATES YOU! So stop it! For the love of all things holy, just stop.

Yes, I'm a Christian. Yes, I know God loves me. Yes I pray every day for a baby (or peace, or just an answer) so I don't need you adding to my stress and telling me how I'm not worthy and God hates me. I also know that sometimes God's answer is no, which doesn't mean he hates me.

'It's God's Will' and 'In God's Time' are two of the worst phrases you can say to me.  Are you saying that the crackhead neglecting her children deserves her kids?  Or the child molester who has children is a better Christian than me because he has children?  How about the mother who has 14 children, can't pay for any of them, & pimps them out on the street...oh yeah, it MUST be God's will! It sounds ridiculous right?  Well it's the exact same thing in reverse. If you wouldn't tell the children living in this hell that 'It's God's Will' for them to live this way, then why the hell would you tell the childless woman trying everything under the sun to have a baby, that things happen in God's time and it must be God's will?!

I have enough on my plate and enough stress in my life trying to figure out how we are going to pay for the next treatment (if we're even going to do another treatment!) and I don't need you adding to this stress by making me question why God has blessed certain people with children and not me.

Instead of saying "It must be God's Will", say "I'm praying for you!"
Instead of "It's God's plan", say "I'm praying for you!"
Instead of "In God's time", say "You're in my thoughts"
Instead of "God has a plan for you", say "You are in my thoughts and prayers"

See where I'm going with this?! Please, just stop. Think before you speak....or don't say anything at all. That works too!

Pray for me. Pray for us. Pray for all of us. Yes, I know there is a plan. Yes, I know sometimes the plan is not what I envisioned.  Yes, I know it takes time. Yes, I may not like the plan or the outcome or the results, but just know that I do pray. I need your prayers. I need your good thoughts. I need some peace.

God doesn't hate me!


  1. <3 you kristy! Always in my thoughts & prayers! Also side note if i win the mega millions tonight next treatments on me :) Hugs Tonya C.

    1. Thank you so much...and good luck in the mega millions tonight! Maybe I should play?!?! :)

  2. Yes. Just yes. Could not agree more. And I say it myself again and again and again. And I am actually praying for you. For me. And all of us who are stuck in this purgatory...xoxo