Saturday, May 31, 2014

Getting Closer!!!

So is this really happening?!  Am I really doing this?

I started birth control and I'm now doing daily Lupron injections. All of this in order to get one step closer to being accepted into the study and on the road to IVF. The study requires my estrogen levels to be at or below 20.2  Day 3 labs in March said my levels were at 38. Day 3 labs in April they went up to 46.  I of course freaked out, but the nurse said that was normal and not to worry.  They started me on birth control to shut my system down and then I started the daily Lupron injections.

I had my blood work done this morning to check my levels.  Here goes nothing...

I got the call that afternoon and my estrogen dropped to 24.4!!  Wait...what?!?  They want to see me again tomorrow morning to check my levels again.

I'm going to seriously, I'm about to hurl all over the floor!

I've been going through the motions not thinking about the next step.  How could I think about the future when all the other times have only led to tears and disappointment.  So I get up in the morning, take my birth control pill and then Dave sticks me with a needle full of Lupron into my belly.  I've been doing this for 8 days now.  Get up, take my pill, get my shot, make my coffee.  Get up, take my pill, get my shot, make my coffee.  Get up, (stop taking the pill), get my shot ready,  stick myself in the belly, make my coffee.  Get up, inject my shot, get my coffee... it's Groundhogs Day over and over for 8 days now.  We don't talk about it. We don't really discuss it. We don't dream about what could be next.  We just get up, Dave gives me my shot, and I make my coffee.

Now there's light at the end of the tunnel.  Now there's a reason I've been taking the pill, getting my shot and drinking my coffee....I just may be getting a day closer to IVF!  So we also decided to start having fun with it.  If I need to do all of these injection every day, lets have a little fun! :)

Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Sooooo remember my last post about how I was going to start taking the pill and I wasn't worried about the side effects because I was on the pill before and nothing happened and yadda yadda....

WRONG!!!  Someone please say a little prayer for Dave!  The poor man needs a break...from me, his wife! Send chocolate and wine for me, and please for the love of all things holy, please send Dave some beer and some cigars!  The man needs a break!  You know it's got to be bad around here if I'm recognizing that I'm a pain to live with!  Holy shit!  What do they put in these pills?!?  They are not the same birth control pills I took all those years ago!  These things must be laced with extra bitchiness and crazy! Holy Hell!

So we decided together that we were going to have a code word/phrase for when I starting getting all spun up.  You know...a word he could say to me when I started acting crazy and I could self reflect and get it together. A word or phrase I didn't think we would need....but thought maybe we should just in case!  A phrase that I agreed to! we have one!  He's used it several times already!!  And let me tell you this...I'm about to slam a sock down his throat if he uses it on me one more time because NOW that I'm  under the influence of birth control crazy pills, I HATE the phrase!

So what's the phrase you ask?  How bad could it be?!  BEFORE bcp (birth control pills) I thought the phrase was funny.  BEFORE bcp, I had a sense of humor! BEFORE bcp, I wasn't a raging bitch! Our code word/phrase is simple it's..."You're acting crazy!"

Simple right? To the point, you say! Funny even!  Yes....BEFORE bcp, all of those things are correct! NOW though...I want to punch him in his arm if I hear that phrase again! I swear, if he says it one more time, I think I might cry...oh wait I did!  And then I was pissed because I cried!

Holy much longer do I need to do this?!?!  3-4 more weeks!  Good God, please send Dave some relief...but don't leave me out because I might scream at you too if you don't include me!  HA!

This will all be worth it in the end is what I keep reminding Dave....I don't think he's buying it right now, but maybe that's because I'm still at the beginning stages of my crazy pills! *Cue evil laugh!*

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Another Step Closer...

Ahhhhhhhhh good news alert!!!

We are another step closer to being accepted into the IVF study!!! I can't believe this!  After all the things that we've been through and all the things we have tried over the years, it finally seems like maybe...just maybe...this could be it! IVF here we come (hopefully!)

Now I know, I know, I shouldn't get my hopes up or do too much wishful thinking but I just can't help it! I want to jump up and down and shout it from the rooftops that we are another step closer!!!

Here's the thing though...they want me to start on birth control pills!  Wait...what?!?  You mean I need to take birth control pills in order to try and get pregnant?!?  I feel like I had an Arnold (from Diff'rent Strokes) moment.."Whatcha talkin' about Willis?!?" right there in the doctor's office! Let me get this straight....I'm trying to get pregnant and you want me to start taking birth control?!  Don't you know I want a refund on all the years I thought I had to take the pill in order to not get pregnant?!?  ummmm ok then! It made me think of all the times we couldn't have sex when we did our IUI's so we could get pregnant...which obviously didn't work!

So here goes nothing....I start "the pill" today in the hopes of getting pregnant! HA!  That sounds like a bad joke just writing it! But, whatever!  What do I have to lose!  I'll try anything right about now!

I talked to a couple of friends who went through IVF and were also on the pill as part of their protocol, and they all warned me about the huge side effects of mood swings and bitchiness (yes...more than my normal bitchiness! I can see my sisters commenting now as they read that last sentence!).  I'm not too worried though because I wasn't bad when I was on the pill 10+ years ago, so this should be nothing..... we shall see!

Wish us luck! I'm starting the pill...hoping to get Yep, it's still funny saying that!

P.S. I created a page on the front of the blog about some fundraising I started.  You can read all about the details HERE. Don't worry...we're not asking for a handout (unless of course you want to just donate a dollar or two...we'll take it! :) HA!)
If you know of any teachers out there that can use some items for their classroom, then please send them to my stores! The money I make from these items is going towards our infertility treatments. :) Thanks!!!