Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Poked, Prodded...and Pictures!

So today I had another appointment related to the IVF study that we're trying so hard to get into!  This was actually a first for me.  Now, as most of you have read I've been poked, prodded, and pricked time and time again.  Another test, another dollar (hundreds), another set of stirrups.  I've seen it all, done it all, been through it all...or at least I thought! This was yet, another first for me. I even took pictures! (Nooooo, not those kinds of pictures!  C'mon my parents read this blog! :) I'm taking pictures to document all the things we go through to try to have a baby..medically speaking! Plus Dave is out of town and missed this appointment, so I was able to "include" him with all that I went through during our FaceTime session! HA!)

Today was a beautiful day outside (70 degrees!) and I didn't have to break my tradition of wearing a sundress for my appointment...you know for easy access! :)  They gave me some privacy (to take off my shoes) so I decided to take as many pictures for you all as possible without getting X-Rated and taking the pictures while I was in the stirrups...I do have some limits!

Anyway, I had to go in today to have a hydrosonogram done.  I've had an HSG before (basically dye shot into your uterus and Fallopian tubes while you're in the stirrups to see if your tubes are blocked at all while the room is full of doctors and nurses and one doctor is taking pictures of the inside of your body while you just stare at the ceiling spread eagle with your Hoo-Ha exposed to the world.  Yep, there's no modesty in any of this...) So I thought I knew basically what this was.  My doctor explained that it was similar but instead of dye it was a saline solution.  He would also be swabbing the inside of me with Betadine and of course...Mr. Ultrasound wand.   Here's the proof that my doctor's office does not use the white skinny wand like I wrote about in my earlier post, but instead the ultrasound dildo! What happened to the skinny ultrasound wand that everyone is always talking about?!?!  Huh?!?!  Where?!?! See!!!  Are you done laughing yet?!? :)

So my doctor and my nurse come in, and my doctor asks if it's ok with me that an intern join us.  My response to him is, "Of course it's alright!  I think everyone in this building has seen my Hoo-Ha by now, what's one more!"  My nurse giggles, the intern awkwardly giggles and my doctor, with his dry sense of humor, gives me a smirk!  Now that is HUGE for him!  Love him, but trying to get the man to crack a smile or tell a joke takes a lot out of me...but it is my mission everytime I see him!

He explains the procedure again, pulls over the ultrasound cart, gets me in the stirrups and we begin.  The lights go off, the TV on the wall turns on and the show begins...minus the popcorn.
The poor student intern (who is standing next to me by my face and not standing at the Hoo-Ha end) looks so uncomfortable! I feel bad for her so I look over and ask her if this is the type of medicine she wants to specialize in.  I catch her off guard and startle her.  I tell her "I'm just trying to make you more comfortable"  She looks at me shocked at says, "You are trying to make me more comfortable?!? You're the one in the stirrups with all of us in here!"  Yeah, but I'm used to this...was my response.  She proceed to tell me that no, this was not going to be her specialty (Thank God! lol)

So my doc pokes, prods, pokes some more and then realizes he needs something from the nurse.  She had to leave the room so my doctor wheels away from my Hoo-Ha so he can look me in my eyes and asks if I"m having fun yet! I started laughing (still in stirrups by the way) and say, "Oh yeah it's a real party in here!  Where's my balloons?!?"  Then he did it...he actually snickered!!!  I did it!  I did my job! I made him laugh!  We then proceed to talk about the upcoming golf tournament that will be going on to raise awareness for IF and funds for our group...all while I"m spread eagle in stirrups! Nothing ceases to amaze me anymore!

So back to the procedure....He coats my insides with Betadine with this ginormous q-tip looking thing (you should have seen Dave's reaction when he saw the picture here!  HA! Priceless!)
Then comes the syringe of saline...and when I say syringe you picture a normal size syringe right?!?  Nope, not for me....this is the syringe of saline I got for this procedure!  Yep!
 Now comes Mr. Ultrasound "wand" for some pictures.  There's tugging, prodding, poking, pulling, moving that thing around trying to get the best angle and the best picture and then finally it's over!  YAY! Oh wait...I'm leaking saline now everywhere.  Oh dear God are you serious! This is actually so embarrassing!  I'm in the stirrups (still!) spread eagle, leaking saline all over the table and now I hear it hitting the floor and my doctor rolls over and asks me a question! What?!  Hey doc...I'm a leaking faucet over here...can we talk about this in a minute!  To be honest, I have NO idea what he just asked me because all I'm concerned about right now is the fact that I'm leaking saline (oh God...I HOPE that's saline) all over the table and floor! I can expose my Hoo-Ha to the whole room and I'm not embarrassed, but have me leak all over the floor and I want to die! HA!   So I decide to suck it up and make a joke out of it! What else can I do in this situation right?!? :) He says I can get up..finally...and he'll talk to me in a minute.

I get cleaned up, dried off and get my shoes back on to go find out the news. Is it good, is it bad, what did he find?!? Is there still a puddle of saline out there on the floor!?!?  Oh hell...suck it up buttercup and get back out there! You can do this!  Time to face the music...

Doc lets me know that my uterus and tubes are perfect!  He found nothing!  YAY!  So I went through all of this and it was all worth it!  We are officially another step closer to IVF!

Keep the prayers coming!


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