What to Say, What NOT to Say...That is the Question!

***DISCLAIMER***

First of all what I'm about to say only reflects MY opinion and I do not speak for all IF (infertility) women. I've been in this longer than some....which doesn't make me an expert or better than anyone, just in a different place.  My feelings and my views have changed over time, but this is where I am right now in my life.

Since we opened up about our infertility, a lot of people have been asking me what they should share with me and what they shouldn't so that they don't upset me or hurt my feelings.   Well that depends. So here it goes…

I'm your gal if....

• You've actively been trying to get pregnant whether it be for 3 seconds or three years, you just found out that you are, and you're very excited about it!!!! I love that! I love babies and am happy for you! Don't be scared to tell me and share your excitement!
• You feel the baby moving and you instantly grab my hand. Yes! Let me feel your belly!!!
• You want to tell me all about your strange food cravings!
• You want to invite me to your baby shower
• You want my opinion/share your ideas on how to decorate the baby nursery
• You need a babysitter (no... I'm not going to kidnap your kid while you're gone like on some Lifetime movie! And shame on you if that ever crossed your mind!!!)

I'm NOT the friend/person you want to confide in if...

• You weren't trying to get pregnant and don't want to be.
• You're 16…plain and simple.
• You already have 12 kids and this one is just going to be another "burden" to you.
• You complain constantly about all of your pregnancy symptoms (because trust me, I've paid a lot of money just trying to get morning sickness!)
• You want to terminate your pregnancy (please don't even let my name cross your mind)
• Your baby is born, it's a difficult baby and all you do is call the baby names and complain (asshole, jackass, & bitch are not terms of endearment for a baby and it's not funny, no matter how colicky or needy the baby is).
• You complain about how "fat" you are and you’re fishing for compliments! Look here...you’re pregnant with a miracle inside of you! You're not fat!  There's a human growing in you! Don't come to me complaining...I'm not your gal for that!

So that's it in a nutshell. Pretty much if you're in love, trying to start a family and it happens....I'm thrilled for you!!!!!!

If you weren't trying, you bitch and complain the whole pregnancy, and then complain even more after the baby is born, please lose my number!

I’m sure I will think of more after I post this, but all in all I’m happy for you!  I really truly am!!! I want to share in your joy and please don’t ever be scared to share your good news with me, Good outweighs the bad!  Good always wins…well usually! :)